The Gift of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful things we can ever do. True forgiveness involves reclaiming your own power. The person whom you are forgiving is a person you have been granting an unreasonable amount of power over you. I remember a friend of mine who was raised by an alcoholic father, who constantly went on and on about how he had ruined her life. This woman was 55 years old. She had not seen her father in more than 30 years. He had been dead for 20 years. And yet, she was still giving him power over her happiness. She was blaming him for the unhappiness that she still had in her life.

I’m not saying that her father did not mistreat her and her mother. From her stories, I know that he truly made her life miserable. However she has continued to make herself miserable by clinging to memories of those old events and not forgiving him.

If she had been able to forgive him and move forward, she would’ve reclaimed her own power over her happiness. Her happiness is her responsibility, not the responsibility of a man who has been dead for 20 years. If she ever realizes that, her capacity for happiness will be enormous.

My own mother had never forgiven my father for his cruelty to the day she died in 2011. My father had died in 1982 and my parents had been divorced since 1967. And during all of those years, my mother’s bitterness toward my father never waned. Needless to say, she was a very unhappy person most of the time. When you allow yourself to feel bitterness towards another person, that bitterness spills over into the rest of your life and poisons it in a way that severely reduces your ability to be happy.

Is has been said many times, that “the moment of power is now.” What that means is that it is only in the present, right here, right now, that you can exercise your power to change your life. The past is gone. The future has not yet arrived. You cannot operate from a point of power in either the past or the future. If you are allowing your grudges and negative feelings to keep you in the past, you are keeping yourself from the now. You are keeping yourself from the only place where you can exercise real power.

The biggest gift that forgiveness brings is not to the person being forgiven. It is the gift of freedom to the person doing the forgiving. When you truly forgive, you are free to move forward. You are no longer tied to that heavy anchor of blame that holds you back. When we give up all of the grudges and bad feelings that we hold for others, it is very much like shedding hundreds of pounds of weight.

You can give yourself this gift right now. Start forgiving everyone for everything. Especially forgive yourself. Forgive your parents. Forgive your siblings. Forgive your children. Forgive your grandparents. Forgive your coworkers. Forgive the politicians and news media. Forgive everyone for everything. When you step into your power by releasing all of that negativity, you will realize there was nothing to forgive. And the fact that you have forgiven is a great gift for you, as it releases everything that was holding you back.

Forgiveness Moves Us Forward

Forgiveness is an important building block for us to make progress in our lives. When I hear someone say “I can forgive but I’ll never forget,” I don’t believe they have really forgiven. The “I’ll never forget” part often means that a person is still hanging on to a grudge. If that person is still hanging onto a grudge, then that person has not truly forgiven.

One of my very favorite quotes all time came from Swami Muktananda. He said, “You have to keep forgiving until you realize there was nothing to forgive.” This is such a powerful statement when you think of what it really means. If you believe like I do, that we create our own reality, and the law of attraction is one of those ways in which we create it, then you understand that any perceived “wrong” done by another is something you attracted and created in your life. Why should you be angry and unforgiving of someone you attracted into your life?

I know this is a hard concept to accept, as we can perceive many terrible “wrongs” that we think other people are doing. I myself tend to get wrapped up in stories about things like animal cruelty, child molesting, rape, murder, etc. Even though I know that people attract all of those things to themselves, I still at times feel the injustice of it all. That’s because I get caught up in the notion that there is a certain way things are supposed to be.

It would be nice if we could all live in a world where everybody treats each other with compassion and kindness, with love and respect, and honoring the source within us all. But, obviously there are many people who seem to be incapable of doing such things.

My ex-husband left me for another woman in 2007. For a while, I played the role of victim and felt very negative feelings toward my ex-husband and his lover. But I finally realized I had attracted the situation into my life so that I would end a marriage that was not giving me any moral support at all. Then I understood that all of the hurt I went through was because I would not have had the nerve to end my unhappy relationship myself because of fear. I was afraid of being alone. I have a neuromuscular disease which makes it hard for me to do certain things and I was afraid of being alone without any help. (Though the fact is that my ex-husband was rarely around, and when he was he was not willing to help me very much at all.)

I was also afraid of not having enough money to survive. Clearly, I was not trusting Source to deliver a replacement for my husband’s paycheck. When I am being lucid, I know that my husband’s paycheck was not my real source of support. My real source of support is Source.

The relationship needed a drastic jolt in order for it to end. I realize now that my ex-husband’s relationship with the other woman allowed me to get out of an unhappy relationship. I have forgiven them both and I have moved on. In fact I have realized that there’s nothing to forgive.

Yes, I went through some difficult times at first. I had not lived alone for so long, that I had to learn how to do that again. I had to face some fears, and I had to know that Source has my back.

I found a very nice video on YouTube about the importance of forgiveness and how it lets us release the past that is often holding us back from making progress in our lives. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Text Copyright © 2011 by Victoria Young