Rules of the Game — Part One

For a long time, I have believed that there are three kinds of people in the world. Perhaps a better way to put it is that people tend to take one of three different approaches to life.

1. The people who want to find find out what all the “rules” are so they can FOLLOW them.

These are people who want the comfort of a very specific set of rules — be they religious, legal, etc. If they know what the rules are, they can conform and be “safe.”

As a child, I definitely fell into this category. I grew up with parents who were prone to anger and rage, so I struggled to figure out all the rules in order not to trigger their anger. I was also wanting to hear that they thought I was a “Good Girl” so I was learning the rules so I could follow them and (hopefully) get their approval.

A good side of this approach is that it helps maintain a certain amount of order. The down side is a lack of creativity, a lack of questioning or at least asking the important questions about what would happen if we break those rules — scientifically, artistically, spiritually.

An interesting “side-effect” of this approach was that I was constantly noticing when others (especially my brothers) did not follow the rules. If I saw someone “getting away” with something, I would get very angry or rat them out. I was quite a little tattle tale. I took satisfaction in preventing someone from transgressing undetected. My sense of “fairness” said everyone should have to follow the rules, whatever they were.

My beliefs at the time were that these rules were real and must be followed, so I hardened them into my reality. I had not yet discovered that I was creating my own reality out of my beliefs and emotional responses to them.

As I grew older, I transitioned into the second type. I was tired of following rules. I wanted to be my own person. Read my next post to see what came after following the rules.

Copyright © 2010 by Victoria Young