“Get Out of Your Own Way.” The first time someone said this to me more than 30 years ago, I didn’t understand what he was saying. I was fully embedded in thinking myself into solutions, thinking myself out of problems. I could not see how I was standing in my own way.
I thought all of the thinking hard to figure things out, the working hard, the struggling to get what I wanted were not only how I obtained goals, but how I proved that I was worthy of obtaining them. If I needed to prove I was worthy, then clearly I did not believe I was worthy. I was trying to make things happen because I subconsciously believed I had to push to overcome my unworthiness.
In addition, all of the hard work and struggle were based on a deep seated belief in limitation. If you have to struggle so hard, it’s because things don’t come easily, right?
All of that limited thinking — belief in unworthiness, belief that nothing comes easily — was creating a life with limited possibilities, no matter how hard I worked. My belief in limitation was how I was standing in my own way. I was not creating the reality I wanted. I was creating the reality I believed was possible.
I know from my own experience that you can never believe it is possible if you don’t believe you deserve it. There will always be limiting statements explaining why your desires are not possible. (It’s too expensive, I don’t have the equipment, I don’t know the right people, I’m too young, I’m too old, I’m too fat, I’m too thin, I don’t have the experience, the job market is rigged, etc.)
Following are the ways I have found useful in getting out of your own way.
This is the key to pretty much everything in life. Love yourself. Approve of yourself. If you don’t love yourself and believe you deserve happiness, abundance, well-being, etc., then you cannot bring them to yourself, no matter how hard you try.
Back in the early 80s, my guidance told me to say “I love myself, I approve of myself,” 500 times per day. They told that to many of the clients I channeled for, as well. We all need more love and compassion for ourselves.
When you truly love yourself and recognize that you are part of and connected to Divinity (Source), you also become more compassionate and allowing of others, as you recognize and honor their divinity. When I see someone being harsh and judgmental toward others, I see that as a sure sign that they do not love themselves.
Start Allowing, Rather than Forcing
Trying to force an outcome is usually because of emphasis on ‘not that,’ so you end up creating not that. Rather than trying hard and struggling, it is important to learn to relax and allow the abundant flow of the universe to move through your life.
Put your trust in Source. Surrender. Allow Source to take care of the details. Intend your outcomes and leave the rest to Source. (Let go and let God.)
If you are having trouble relaxing and allowing, start with conscious breathing. Pause, take a deep breath. Feel the air go into your lungs. Feel your abdomen expand as you take a full, deep breath. Feel the air rush out as you exhale. Do this for a few breaths, putting your complete attention on your breathing and nothing else.
Resistance is Futile
What you resist, persists. Just as struggling and forcing will not get you what you want, resistance will not prevent what you do not want. Remember that energy follows attention. If you put a lot of attention on what you do not want, you will get more of that. It will persist.
Identify your Negative Mantras
I knew a guy who was always talking about money from a point of scarcity. He would fret over finances and say “we don’t have enough money.” Until his wife said to him, “Is that your mantra?” If you are repeating a limiting thought or statement over and over, you are turning it into a mantra. Mantras have power for transformation. Make sure you are transforming your life into what you want, not what you fear.
Copyright © 2009 by Victoria Young