Is forgiveness a necessary step towards healing ourselves from real and perceived hurts? We have been told that the process of forgiving and not forgiving is really a matter of choosing how quickly we want to learn our lessons about love, compassion, attaining happiness, being aware of our feelings and staying present in all areas of our lives. But this is only part of healing ourselves.
Why do most of us choose to forgive some situations? We want to feel good about ourselves, an apology is given, we are already aware of why the conflict occurred in the first place or there was a misunderstanding that led to the conflict and we are willing to let it go.
Then there are times when and many reasons why we find it challenging to forgive. For instance, we may feel we have a right or are justified to be a victim, we may try to seek revenge, or we might try to use these situations to emotionally blackmail the person who caused the harm.
When we choose to forgive or not to forgive, most of us only focus on what we will get out of it; we make forgiveness a selfish motivation. We don’t look beyond the act of forgiveness to see the spiritual impetus for the experiences that have caused us to feel hurt, pain, bitterness or resentment. We also don’t always recognize the how and why we may have attracted these situations in the first place.
So how do we move past these negative motivations and really begin healing ourselves? We must realize that every positive and negative situation we have, we actually asked for in the first place.
Before we came into this life we met with our guides to discuss the kinds of experiences that will give us our best opportunities to learn our lessons. These experiences can range from being nice and easy to challenging and painful. I believe our decisions in having an easy or challenging experience are determined by how much we love and accept ourselves and how much we have learned and released the need to punish and limit ourselves.
When we take responsibility for every experience we have and decision we make several things will happen. We have more control over our lives. We gain a deeper understanding of why certain people are in our lives and the roles they play. We are at peace having no fear of outcomes and consequences. We become more open about our feelings and certain of our motivations; in fact our motivations are spiritually led. We become more intuitive and balanced. We’re happier, healthier and feel more supported. We begin to know ourselves without the masks or subterfuge. We start living consciously.
What is beyond forgiveness? Complete understanding and acceptance of the spiritual interplay of life.
Copyright © 2010 by Shirlyn Wright