Allowing Abundance Into Our Lives

A couple of weekends ago I attended an Abundance Workshop to become more aware of and eliminate conscious and subconscious beliefs, challenges and patterns blocking me from attaining my list of “wants.” Some of the items on my list are: vacation anywhere in the world for a month at a time; own two homes one in America and the other in an exotic temperate country; and spend a year studying with spiritual masters.

I am the kind of person who dives right into a project so during the two day workshop I looked at myself with the intensity of a high powered microscope.  I discovered that I still had beliefs I picked up from: my parents about “feeling guilty about success;” society around “it’s better to give than to receive;” and my own insecurities questioning “am I good enough to attract more clients and opportunities to live an opulent lifestyle?”

There were more limiting beliefs and patterns I discovered during this workshop and, as they came up, I released them either by clearing past life patterns or creating new beliefs that are in sync with my current ideas about life. By the end of the second day I was saying and, more importantly, feeling that life is fun; the universe is abundant therefore I am abundant; I don’t need to earn anything in this life because it is already mine for the taking; I am the only one who can change my life; and I am always supported. “Wow, this was easy!” I thought, “I am on a roll and ready to make wonderful headway in my life!”

Then I got sick. It happened the night the class ended. It started with a sore throat, a few days later I had a stuffy nose and a little chest congestion, and a few more days later I had a sore throat so painful I could barely swallow or talk. Of course, I took extra vitamins, enzymes, and cough syrup, steamed using essential oils, and slept a lot to regain my energy. These tactics only took me part of the way to total recovery.

The other part of my healing regime included something I really wasn’t prepared to do; look deeper at what was really holding me back from abundance. I have to admit that I yelled, “Arrgghh!,” when I finally accepted the fact that I was going to have to open up more. Yes, part of our journey really is to understand ourselves better, let go and move forward, however even the best of us have buried some of our beliefs and negative patterns in a tomb within a tomb in a place we are not always prepared to unlock. This is one of the reasons our bodies experience dis-ease; to let us know that it’s time to let it all go. We all like the “let me just medicate” tactic. The thing is EVENTUALLY you will have to complete your healing.

In Chinese medicine, any sinus and lung discomfort means that we are holding on to grief and despair. According to the Sikhs, “the common cold means we have to pay attention to that which we have not allowed to come to the conscious level for some time and has surfaced to be confronted now.” A sore throat is an indication we are suppressing a scream of grief-rage and deprivation-frustration. Coughing means we have guilty feelings from a belief around deserving. Finally, all cold symptoms mean we are in a destiny-avoidance pattern.

I called a couple of friends to help me work through this – sometimes it’s best to contact others for help in times like these. What came up were: appeasement energies, “if I’m sick, then I can’t move forward and move into abundance, success and prosperity;” hidden poverty consciousness, past lives in which I was killed for being abundant and prosperous; self-limitation; and intense grief and anger over my father’s death that I had not fully expressed.

What does my dad have to do with abundance? According to Robert Detzler, the father archetype represents how we take care of ourselves in the outside world which includes career, success and money/income. My father had lung cancer and I felt a lot of frustration, anger, grief and disappointment in him and myself during the six months between the diagnosis and his death. I had to work through, “Why can’t I heal him? Why is he not listening to me? Is this the work I am to do and if so why am I failing with my dad?” At least I thought I worked through this during that time. I didn’t.

After clearing these energies and patterns, I had to do the conscious mind work; the challenging work of expressing my feelings. I wrote a letter to my dad about this time in our lives. What was interesting is that when I allowed myself to express my feelings of hurt and anger, the pain in my throat doubled! As I cried and continued to journal, within a couple of hours about seventy percent of the pain subsided. I looked at what I had written and really didn’t realize how much I held back from expressing for the past two years. I know part of it was because I felt I had to be strong for my mom. The other part was I felt like a failure for not pulling my dad through his health challenge, although I know that was not my job.

I acknowledge and thank my dad for teaching me such huge lessons about life, death, and my work. I really would not be able to have such a deep understanding of the concept, “we heal ourselves,” without participating in his experience. I am now 99% fully recuperated.

I could have easily blamed my cold on the 35 degree drop in temperature, the effects of eating hot peppers that evening (they burned my throat!); or the dog that ran past me and left some H1N1 germs in its wake. But of course, none of the above is the truth. The next time you’re sick, stub your toe, or hit your head ask yourself, “What is the deeper meaning of my discomfort?” and allow yourself to go behind the curtain and see what you are really meant to see and heal.

Copyright © 2009 by Shirlyn Wright

2 comments to Allowing Abundance Into Our Lives

  • kiwidolphin

    What a meaningful story and thank you for sharing it so honestly!! Thank you for everything you were courageous enough to learn. Thank you for recording it (sometimes that can seem like too much work when the mental process is so much faster). And thanks to myself for embracing your story with my feelings and awareness. 🙂

  • toria

    Thank you kiwidolphn for visiting and commenting on the article. We are really glad you enjoyed it!