Every time we tell a story about how someone did us wrong, we are defending our victimhood. I know I have done it. I remember saying to my husband a few years ago, when he left me to be with his girlfriend that every time I was around him I felt like a victim, even though I did not believe in victims.
His leaving had triggered all of my self worth issues. I felt abandoned. I felt that I had been discarded like something useless. Of course, I could not feel that way if I did not have deep issues about my value. If I truly saw myself as being Source Itself, I would not have felt so troubled. If I had owned that within my own reality sphere I had created the reality of him leaving for another woman, I would have not felt like a victim.
When I finally admitted that I had attracted a reality in which he would leave for someone else, I let go of my victimhood and stepped once again into my power. Blaming someone else for my lot in life takes away my own power. I choose to be in my power rather than blaming someone else. I realize that the experience showed me where I needed to work on my self-worth issues. It was very helpful in that way.
We can only feel like victims when we refuse to own and accept our own power. If we decide that someone else is controlling what is happening, then we can be a victim.
If we opine about someone who left us, and how they made our life worse, we are defending our victimhood. If we need to tell people about someone who cheated us, took advantage of us, abused us, caused us harm or offended us, we are defending victimhood.
The story that goes “he (or she) did this to me,” is a story of victimhood. The story about how you attracted a certain person or situation into your life is a story of power. If you want to exercise your power to create the reality you desire, then you cannot blame someone else for what is. Blaming someone else says that they (and not you) have the power over your reality.
Many people on the spiritual path accept the notion that there are no victims. And yet they continue to seek sympathy, prove they are right and someone else is wrong, and tell their stories of victimhood to all who will listen. There is a certain but very limited power that comes from garnering sympathy. It allows one to manipulate others to do things for oneself out of sympathy. This method still depends on the kindness of others, which if withdrawn will further perpetuate the feeling of victimhood.
Rather than use that “secondary” form of power, why not own your magnificent Source power and create the reality you desire? Is complaining about what is more satisfying than creating differently — creating the life you want?
Because the life we experience is a reflection of our beliefs about ourselves, our worthiness and what is possible, there are no victims. I know a woman who says “Life is Hard,” several times a day. It is peppered throughout her conversations. Guess what? She continually experiences a hard life. I have offered her several ideas about how life will get easier if she stops saying and believing that. She rejects my notions.
I cannot make her see life as I do. So, I use her as a vivid demonstration of how believing in victimhood creates a hard life where one feels like a victim. I am sure that all of you have your own demonstrators in your life. Be grateful for them. Own your own power. Accept that you create your own reality. Kiss victimhood goodbye. Enjoy your life!
Copyright © 2009 by Victoria Young