I read a book called “Das Energi” by Paul Williams some 20 or more years ago. On one of the pages, in small letters at the very top, it said “Let go of everything you are clinging to.” The rest of the page was blank – until you got to the very bottom of the page. In small letters, it said, “Now, let go of everything else.”
I remember laughing when I read that, because it was so true. Mostly, when we think we have let go of our attachments, we are just suppressing them. It takes more than just learning about all this stuff to make progress. We also need to get out of our own way. We need to let go of old programs at the same time as we gain new ones.
After years of study, meditation and practice, I learned many things about the nature of reality. I know and accept that I create my own reality. I watched “The Secret” many times. I also bought DVDs of “What The Bleep Do We Know,” “You Can Heal Your Life,” “Law of Attraction,” “Sukhavati,” and “What If, The Movie.”
I read dozens of books on Quantum Physics, manifesting abundance, finding happiness from the inside out, working with the shadow self, divine matrix, biology and more. I read old books by Thomas Troward, Joel Goldsmith, Baird T. Spalding and more. I read new books by Gregg Braden, Bruce Lipton, Joe Dispenza, Joe Vitale, Neale Donald Walsch, Marci Shimoff, Debbie Ford and more.
I listened to audio programs by Abraham-Hicks, T. Harv Eker, James Arthur Ray, Jack Canfield, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer and more.
Occasionally I would have a breakthrough and make a leap forward in my progress, but things would quickly stagnate and I would find myself back where I was — or close to it.
As time went on, I realized that I was still being “overridden” by the programs I had installed as a child. It felt like I was able to mentally catalog, absorb and spout back all that information, but it was not being absorbed at a deep level where my life was really immersed in this knowledge. I wanted my life to be a demonstration of the principles of oneness, compassion, connection-to-source, experiencing the abundance of life in the flow. I wanted to live it, not just “know about” it.
All of the great wisdom, insights and lessons were not getting the results I wanted because I was still running those childhood programs we get before age 6. Before age 6, we are all these intuitive little sponges, absorbing and accepting as truth the reality we are exposed to. we don’t yet have the ability to analyze something and reject it. We just take it all in and store it in the form of little “programs.” Those are the ones that are deep in the subconscious, running as stealth programs. They are unseen, and so they are harder to work on.
I grew up in a family of angry, negative thinkers. Poverty mentality was strong in my tribe. Outsiders were not to be trusted. For them, the world was a tough place where you have to struggle for everything. My family valued boys over girls. I was never encouraged or told I had potential of any kind. I watched as my brothers were given support for what they did. So, I had a lot of negative programs about my self-worth, deserving abundance, the nature of the universe, etc. I became an over-achiever, subconsciously trying to get the approval of my parents and others.
I accomplished a lot, but I was still running those programs. I have been working on clearing those programs by “letting go” of them. I have been using EFT and The Sedona Method with some success. As I let go of issues, it is like peeling an onion. For instance, I have realized that my desire for approval was much deeper than I thought. I knew I had strong desires for control and security that I needed to let go of, but I was surprised to find how deep the approval desire was.
I will continue the processes of letting go, trusting Source, and creating the life of my dreams.
My Affirmation: I live every day knowing that I am one with Source and everything else is fine as long as I know and feel that connection.
Copyright © 2009 Victoria A. Young